A weekend of Foo

Good Afternoon,

A. Montgomery here.

I would like to begin this piece with a tasty disclaimer that goes like this:

Myself and comrades, Haydn M. Ing and James F.D Ing understand all too well that it’s been some time between diary entries. Now, don’t think for a second we can’t hear the huffing and stifled boos from within the masses, but before emotions get the better of us all, you must know this:  We’ve been somewhat busy over the past few months, working our fingers to the bones in the dark, musty trenches of rock n roll life! And although you may find this a feeble one, it’s the only excuse our calloused fingers can spew forth onto the keys. We hope, oh we hope, that you not only forgive us, but rejoice with us as we look back over recent events..

November 27th 2011

 As the birds begin to sing their horrific song of morning, we collectively stumble out of our sleeping quarters and make the long, dangerous journey from various inner city Melbourne suburbs to the Airfield. (37°40´24.1” S/144°50´36.2” E) We arrive in a punctual manner only to be greeted by our sound engineering specialist Admiral Aarons. The admiral is a qualified field mechanic and has virtually no reason to leave his comfortable post in Melbourne, yet he continues to join our regiment time and time again. Some say he’s loves the thrill of the battle, others don’t. I guess we’ll never know. After loading the artillery we realise that once again we’ve brought far too much fire power. We each systematically flirt with the buxom yet austere woman who, in theory has the authority to overlook our rookie mistake. This seductive dance is a delicate battle and is not to be taken lightly. This woman is the difference between our loved ones back in the motherland receiving plentiful xmas gifts or tear soaked letters of remorse. In situations such as this, we often put forward Corporal Haydn M. Ing to woo them with his soulful yet manly eyes. Although, having been successful in the past, this particular battle was over before in begun. The Corporal was no match for the vicious ice queen.  We regretfully hand over absurd sums of our monthly wages and walk to the plane defeated, stopping only once to buy some coffee in an attempt to lift spirits. We board the eagle… Our destination, Perth. 

Novemeber 28th 2011

In an attempt to get some solid rest, we land in Perth a day early yet we find ourselves rising from our quarters at 0900 hours with heavy heads and loose memories. Could it have been the enemy drugged us before the battle had even begun? Or could it have been we enjoyed a touch too much ale and whisky the previous evening?? I guess we’ll never know. Mysteries aside, we collect our things, down our rations of coffee and make our way to the scene of the imminent battle. Upon arrival we meet up with our artillery technician ’ Sergeant Shrimp’.  Although a small man, The Shrimp is more than proficient in combat and a loyal warrior to have on your side. We say our hellos and quickly trade a few war stories for old times sake. Ah the good ol’ days.  After the chinwag we’re briskly escorted to our quarters where we drop our daypacks and immediately head for a peek at the battlefield. Although the enemy is yet to enter the arena, we can feel the tension in the air. On the open plain that various unwashed men in black are calling ‘The Stage’ we band together and talk strategy. Our plan is to take the enemy by surprise by being as loud and aggressive as possible. Will it work? Only time will tell.  We head back to our base and the next few hours go by in a blur. We do however get the opportunity to meet the other battalions with whom we will be fighting along side. These include, 3rd regiment ‘Fucked Up’ led by Officer Pink Eyes, 2nd Regiment Tenacious D led by Corporal Gass and Admiral J. Black and finally, 1st Regiment Foo led by none other than General D. Grohl. We’ve heard many stories of battles General D. Grohl has fought and won. They are the stuff of legends. Without stumbling on our words, we try and express to all these brave men that it is an honour to fight along side them. We’re barely successful.

After several more hours of waiting around, the time has come. We down some liquid courage, say our farewells to loved ones and head to ‘The Stage’ armed with only our battle axes and one pair of wooden sticks which Captian J. Ing holds close to his chest. Brows are sweat soaked and nerves are running wild. This is where the boys are separated from the men, the wheat from the chaff etc etc. Finally we’re given the green light and we head out guns ablazin’ expecting the worst. But to our surprise, the worst we do not get. It seems General Grohl and his men have fought and won this particular battle before. This is no longer the enemy. This extremely large mass of people are friendly allies.  Instead of being met with hostility and projectiles we’re greeted with smiling faces and loud applause. What a relief. We quickly adapt our battle technique and enjoy the party for the next 20 minutes. We thank the masses of people for not terminating us at point blank range and retreat to our base for some much needed refreshments. Success. Regiment Fucked Up and Regiment Tenacious D both complete outstanding missions before clearing ‘The Stage’ for the finest fighters of the all, Regiment Foo. They appear to raptures applause and for the next 165 minutes, entertain the masses with some of the finest battle songs known to man. A killer performance that few could match. They exit the stage leaving the 30,000 strong crowd drunk on rock n roll and overpriced ale. The rest of the evening is a huge blur of merriment and sing-alongs. 

November 29th 2011

The next morning we rise yet again with that familiar feeling that someone may have drugged us the night before. They get us every time. We say our goodbyes to Sergeant Shrimp who’s staying behind to discipline of unruly misfits, and we head to the airfield. We board the eagle and leaving Perth feeling confident that the mission was a success. We head home for some much needed R&R. before heading south with the same company. Until next time….Calling All Cars out.

OCTOBER NEWS!!

FINAL HEADLINE SHOW FOR 2011

Ok, our final headline show for 2011 will happen in Melbourne at the ESPY on Cupe eve (31st Oct) This also happens to be haloween so anyone attending, feel free to dress up like a freak. Maybe we will too. Maybe we won’t. We’re also excited to announce that the special guests for the show will be those pesky dance punks from Hunting Grounds. We’ve never played a show with these cats so we are vibed to do so. Melbourne Rock ‘N’ Rollers Kingswood are also on the bill.

OTHER NEWS 

In other news, We will be performing our new single ‘Worlds Collide’ at the Jagermeister AIR awards tomorrow night. For those of you lucky enough to have PAY TV This is be shown on Channel V in the not too distant future!! 

 OTHER OTHER NEWS!! 

You can expect a brand new music video in the coming weeks!! That’s right! Sit tight as we can’t wait for people to see it!!

On the 28th October, we will be in Perth appearing at the Make Polio History concert. For anyone interested, head here for more details: http://www.theendofpolio.com/home/2011/09/the-end-of-polio-concert/

For now we have a few tour dates to see out the year and they are right here!!

22^nd October – FAT AS BUTTER FESTIVAL – Newcastle

21^st October – Penrith Panthers NSW w/ THE LIVING END

15^th October – Indigo Rocks – Yackandandah VIC w/Stonefield

28th October - End Polio Concert Perth w/Bliss n Eso, The Getaway Plan plus more 

31st October - Espy St. Kilda Vic w/Hunting Grounds

10^th December – Sunbury Festival

31^st December  - PYRAMID ROCK FESTIVAL

That’s all for now.

Much love and Peace

Haydn.James.Adam